Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in krisduh2.0's LiveJournal:

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Friday, August 31st, 2007
11:29 pm	it still burns a little every time he builds me up. no matter how much i try and prep myself for it, when he goes back and blames it on drinking too much it still burns a little hole. and yet i still dont hate him because i know one day he will or should look back and feel like shit for treating a good friend like this. ha why me? i have it from 2 angles right now. always on the same day. and yet i havent cut either of em outta my life...why??? i miss Los Angeles and the lack of boy drama hahahaha with myself anyway. Current Mood: disappointed (Comment on this)
Saturday, July 28th, 2007
10:31 pm	im lovin it yet i still hate mc donalds hahahah just got back from pa..had blast..got a little outta control but loved it. birthday is in 2 days...guess im bein kidnapped..im nervous because no one has ever planned anything for me on a birthday let alone taken the time to make it a surprise...soooo excited. ha it feels nice. life is good. the fam is good. the friends are good here and there..hows la? miss my loves a little but it feels good to grow a little. Current Mood: buzzzzziiiinnn (Comment on this)
Thursday, July 12th, 2007
1:22 pm	tomorrow its coming too fast. i didnt have time to do anything! haha oh well ill be "home" as of 11:30 pm tomorrow night! not lookin forward to the plane ride but whateva ill see my loves! ive missed you guys! and im sorry the trip will be short this time but ill be back in september to make it up! <3 <3 <3 ps- who wnats to pick me up from the airport? hahahahahah Current Mood: distressed (Comment on this)
Monday, June 25th, 2007
10:11 pm	tttwwwwwwoooooooo wwwwwwweeeeeeeekkkkssssssss!!!!!!!! :) i better see al of your beautiful faces Current Mood: stoked (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, June 22nd, 2007
4:57 pm	talkin hahahah i love my friends. they're everywhere but they're great reguardless. ps- just watched alpha dog last night..justin timberlake is HOT in that movie..i love tattoooossss :)))) Current Mood: illin (Comment on this)
Wednesday, June 13th, 2007
1:07 pm	My Best Friends Wedding is STILL in my top 10 chick flicks (randall, you better have seen it, otherwise, we're having a movie date with randi). i miss california a bit today. its ugly out here and i have no where to go because everyone is working. haha wouldnt it figure. and gross my coffee ice cream tastes like garlic kinda..ewwwwwwwwww :( Current Mood: bored (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Saturday, June 9th, 2007
6:50 pm	let me be the one thank you...for you.. i found my little piece of happy on archer street in a queen size bed..watching a movie..or sleeping..or laughing..or crying..just being in that room..i feel good. thank you ITS OFFICIAL...JULY 13TH...CALIFORNIA HERE "I" WE COME, RIGHT BACK WHERE "I" WE STARTED FROM!! (little OC opening song there for ya)...im stoked on life Current Mood: ecstatic (Comment on this)
Saturday, June 2nd, 2007
9:11 am	k gimme more rumors at work please..i love it. i love people saying what they think is happening and being totally wrong. and then agreeing with them so they tell another, and another, and another... goooodddd times. Current Mood: cheerful (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, May 27th, 2007
3:30 pm	ouch had to climb through a window today..got a pretty bad cut..im pissed. no one is home. im bored. i stayed up and out too late. im tired. and i have to go to a family bbq of a certain someone... i dont know if i can do all this so soon. i dont know if i can give up either. he called me today. he was crying. after everything, he STILL loves me and im STILL his #1. and i cant help but wonder..am i making a mistake?? thoughts for the remainder of the day= if he really loves me and knows some things that are "bad" yet he still wants to be with me..should i really push it aside just because he is in another country? further more, should i give up on something potentionally great because of him? when the person whom is here physically is just as amazing if not more in different ways? but no one will ever be like travis. no one will ever round everything out like him..so what is happening? Current Mood: contemplative (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 24th, 2007
9:28 pm	use control when you hold too tight cuz fate left me staring at the ceiling through the night its freakin me out you're freakin me out and i could run like a coward for the door but ill never get out you're freakin me out what to do? how to act? where to be? who to be? when do i? why is it? i feel something strange for him. this is no good. but i feel safe and comfortable. and i feel it. period. i dont even want to know what is to come of this. i dont even want a solid answer. i like the questions and uncertainty in the situation. i like laughing. i like feeling this. haha like the blink 182 song goes, "i got no regrets right now, im feelin it!" boooosssttttooooonnnn beatdown?? tomorrow...or maybe just the train and a museum or two..depends on the day. :) Current Mood: curious (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 10th, 2007
6:35 pm	dear you stunned (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 29th, 2007
7:42 pm	errr working a lot lovin every minute of it gettin a car ssssoooonnn moving again?? oh and...again..one step at a time..im gettin over all of it. alllll of it. thank god. liars rule my life..but you WILL get out..soon enough til then, im fuckin on to you >:\ Current Mood: sleepy (Comment on this)
Thursday, April 19th, 2007
12:01 pm	lynn, massachussetts girls came to visit..good times..love them. love the new job. love the family. im doing good guys. im getting it together :) thanks friends for being supportive. Current Mood: happy-go-lucky (Comment on this)
Monday, April 16th, 2007
7:20 pm	change so..i did it. i let go. finally..i feel good now. and im happy, im really happy in a completely different way that i dont remember ever having. and its amazing to have the support fo the people i love. more amazing, is having a family. i real one. mine, my blood, my roots. and they love me, they want me around. its like i have been around my whole life with these people. my family. hah weird right? no, amazing. i feel welcome, and full at the heart. thanks guys Current Mood: ecstatic (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, April 12th, 2007
4:05 pm	dear you whyd you do it? what made you want to cross that line? did i do something wrong? i must have. i know this is my fault somehow. and i dare not say anything directly to you because i know that it will definitely be my fault. but im not okay. and i dont know why i didnt say anything in the beginning..maybe it is my insecurity in feeling like if you didnt like me id be lost or wouldnt be okay. now i did what i was told. i did everything you asked of me and i went out of my way for you. its my own fault, i know better. i wasnt being me in being what you wanted me to be. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 9th, 2007
9:39 pm	WHY?!?! WHY NOW?!?! WHY WAIT TIL IM GONE ACROSS THE COUNTRY TO LET ME KNOW??? WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG??? and you AGAIN, WHY NOW?!?! WHY CANT YOU JUST TAKE IT AS IT IS AND LET IT BE?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU WAITING FOR FORM ME??? and then you WHY ME?!?! HAVENT I BEEN GOOD ENOUGH?!? HAVENT I CARED ENOUGH?!?! WHAT DOES IT TAKE TO PROVE IT?! and finally WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?! YOU DID IT AGAIN!! WHY CANT YOU JUST WAIT??!! Current Mood: fuming (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 4th, 2007
6:02 pm	blahhlhfs,msnkl so...massachusetts is kind of interesting, when its not raining i actually like it and enjoy walking around this city. i also really enjoy getting to know my family finally. they're so rad :) there's so many!! ahahah. Im not going to become a permanent fixture out here though i am going to be here for a few months which is more than id originally planned but whatev's. i need to know my family now..i need to be there. mom's sick, she wont tell me exactly whats wrong but she has to go see a pulmonary specialist(lung specialist) because she has a blockage and isnt getting enough oxygen..kinda scarey. shes moving in two weeks to colorado and shes driving alone which also makes me nervous, but she'll be alright. i will say that if she ends up not being able to work again, i am moving to colorado to help her for a while. but we'll see, i think she'll be okay. my mom's tough as fuck. :) Current Mood: boooorrreedd (Comment on this)
Friday, March 30th, 2007
3:58 pm	sad i got a text message from travis' step-sister yesterday... his doggie Max died..and whats sad is he wasnt sick...and now Momma dog is..and they dont care there because its "just a dog" but its LIFE!! and im pretty upset about it because im here and cant really do anything about it.. this sent me on a worrysome phone-call binge- and i called to check up on my rescue dogs..turns out...BALOU my ugly-lil-fucker dog..the one people hid form me in the refrigerator and oven and microwave...he got hit by a car a few days ago chasing his little girl and he died too... im bummed..i feel worse for travis..and he didnt talk much about it..hah and i feel bad because I started crying when I was telling him, and im supposed to be the strong one and i couldnt..poor guy, he puts up with way to much from me hahahaha did i mention mom adopted spunky out??? im pissed Current Mood: waaahhh (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 29th, 2007
12:22 pm	2007 sssooo far: *new years- drunk and funny with sam in palm desert *perris- not so bad as long as justin,mike,leann,robby, and kepy are around *rudy- fixed it..goin good *snow- check! saw it, played in it, fell in it...loved every minute of it! *friends- made a new few; dennis, jason, cluck *went to dr., was told i may have cancer and to prepare my home life for someone to take care of me(massachusetts sounds great right about now. *1/26/07- got a great phone call- travis cheated on me *Lucy/Lucky/Rickie- most amazing persian cat, ever *feb- broke up with travis officially *kittens n pups- quit..tooo much drama *2/9/07- Westchester Sports Grill show!! Family Matters played! :) *started up an old BAD habit *2/13/07 Dennis and I split for our road trip to NY and then Boston CA-AR-NM-TX-AK-TN-VG-PA-NY.....MA *went snowboarding- me= not so good :) *built up a tolerance for beer *made A LOT of new friends...amazing new friends (still not my cali though:/ ) *started school!! (two years, vet tech) *went to college (not mine..but i stayed in a dorm!!) *became okay at beer pong, finally *laughed a lot! so far *only cried thrice *developed short-term memory loss *made it to massachusetts..developing relationships with the family i never knew..my daddy's getting old :( but my stepmom fuckin rules and so does the rest of my dad's family. *UNPACKED!! ....and now...reality is setting in...along with boredom.....fuck Current Mood: mehhh Current Music: hahahaha Take Action Tour Vol 6 (Comment on this)
Monday, March 26th, 2007
11:52 am	hah! first things first: homemade fruit bowls..are amazing..wow im into it now onto more interesting.important matters: *made it to massachusetts, finally been here a couple of days..ready to leave * the dennis and the eric came with for 48 hours and it wasnt nearly enough for me to accept that we are now separated for god knows how long..i cried..it really sucked * been goin to the bar to get out of the house, and learned that ive really picked up a tolerance for alchohol..and it takes more than i thought to get me drunk *i was SUPPOSED to have a car out here..that took a shit on me, and i have to get a job to get back to cali so now im gonna be bussin' it for a while..which reeeaaallllyyyy sucks * i really miss 2 completely different groups of people and it sucks cuz the people that i thought would be my comfort...are shitty now..nose stuck up in the air and all...im not down...im gonna have to fend for myself i guess remember how m shadows is in the new good charlotte video?? remember when good charlotte was cool for a minute..remember when avenged sevenfold was cool?!?!?!...how sad now i cant tell who's more lame...and when I CALL someone/something lame..eesh Current Mood: blehh (Comment on this)